If anyone's going to defile my good name, it's going to be me.

I had a dream the other night about identity theft.

It was really wierd.

It started off with me going to the bank. I walked up to the teller, and said, "hey, I'd like to make a withdrawal. Could I get twenty dollars?"

She did her thing for a minute, and then said, "Uh... I'm sorry, it says you haven't got twenty dollars in here," to which I respond, "that's rediculous, I should have like three hundred."

So then, another woman comes out, and says that I was making alot of strange payments with checks, and I said, "but, no, I couldn't've, I don't have my checks -- I've never paid for anything by check."

So they start talking to me about identity theft.


It skips back to my dorm room, and I'm talking to MasterCard, and I'm like, "but, I never opened an account with you, and I can't be held accountable for these charges, why-- how much? five hundred thousand dollars?"

Then, these guys in tactical riot gear burst in through the door to arrest me, because they thought I was a terrorist. Of course, I wasn't the terrorist, the person who stole my identity was.

But they didn't really want to hear that.