Don't bother with all that 'saving the world' crap. It's totally not worth it.

So, yesterday, I had a job interview.

I set out early, so I could buy myself a Metrocard for the bus.

You can only buy Metrocards at Train Stations, though, so I had to walk all the way down to the train station, and then double back to the road that the bus route was actually on.

So I get there, and there's this guy. And he's trying to bum a dollar off of anyone there, so he can get home.

Keep in mind, this isn't Jamaica or anything, and it's midday, so there's like no one there.

So this guy's like "hey, do you have a dollar? Do you have a dollar? I need--"

So I nod and pull out some money. And, my luck being the way it is, it's the ten dollar bill on top. He sees it, and he's like, "hey? Do you take the bus? I'll sell you some bus tokens."

Fine.

So I've now given this guy something on the order of eleven dollars, for like twenty of these little silvery bus tokens.

I cram them in my pocket, next to my new shiny Metrocard, and leave.


When I get on the bus, I figure, "Well, these things are just gonna be jingling around in my pocket, I might as well use them first."

I dump one in the little money thing, and it doesn't do anything, because, apparently, even though Nassau county busses run in Suffolk county, you can't use Suffolk county tokens on Nassau county busses. Especially when you're on a bus that run into Queens.

So.

Eleven dollars and fifty cents -- I gave him a full train fare -- and I've got a pocketful of worthless bus tokens.


Flash forward to later on last night.

The only thing anybody on TV is capable of talking about is Anna Nicole Smith.

So, Mom's flipping back and forth, and we stumble on Bill O'Rielly's show. And he's sitting there, and he goes -- and I'm paraphrasing, here -- "A lot of you wrote in to ask why we devoted last night's show to Anna Nicole Smith. Well, it's a warning, you can do one of two things with your life. You can do the right thing, and try to make the world a better place, or you can live a life of excess."

And I realized that, well, honestly, it's worth it to live the fun life of excess, because being good and kind and gentle will only get you a pocketful of totally unusable bus tokens.


I mean, don't get me wrong. I tried to do the right thing.

That's why I became a PoliSci major in the first place.

If I just wanted to be rich and have fun, I would've just found a major that would make me a fuckton of money later on down the road.


Instead, I'm back in New York, eleven dollars poorer -- oh, and I didn't get that job I was interviewing for.